July is upon us,
while fire works is about to flare, west side won again. If you forgot the
meaning of this holiday, just be thankful that you only had to work 4 days this
week, which left you with 3 days of free times
You can spend this
lazy day with an orgy of food or orgy of sex, either way will give you
something to look forward to. LOL.
Speaking of July that
means I should start reinforcing the fort again for another waves of alien’s
invasion. Perhaps it may be a good time to give you aliens some pointer for
your fall visits to this part of my world.
First stop Beijing:
1. The first tips to travel to ASIA. No matter how tire you are, how relax
you want to be, or you love to take to the air travel, or the seating
arrangement is so comfortable in the first class, without the babies crying of
course. Rule number one. Do not drink like a fish just because it is free. It
is not worth it. Rule number two. Do not go to sleep, just watch three damn
movies, and go to bathroom twice, eat all your favorite veggies and you will be
here without jet legs for days to come.
2. Once you arrive, do not get over anxious, please time yourself for all
the activities you had plan. Take time out to smell the tea, and remember even
with an escort, or guide, you will get lost and time wasted.
3. Your must see destination, the Forbidden City is huge, and it will take
you most of the day to explore there if you really wanted to experience it, go
a little further to the less visited court yards. Don’t expect tranquility, the
emperor had left town. The tour guide with the flag is left in charge and I
meant they would be leading the charges, with the loud speaker in their hand.
4. After you are done, I suggest you walk out of the Gate of the heavenly
peace into the Tiananmen Square to take
some pictures. Until you set foot there, you never feel the power of the square
that can be overwhelming.
5. The people’s congress is a site to see, as well as the crops of Mao, the
mausoleum, if you are into cold fresh. There are the Monument to the people’s
heroes and a total of ten other buildings. Check it out.
6. The temple of heaven is best to visit in the morning, if you can bid the
early invasion of the group tour, you will feel how beautiful of the place is.
Walk the full length of the park, where the emperors use to lead their
procession to make offer to heaven. In the afternoon, you can pay a visit to
the ruin of the summer Palace.
7. The great wall is way out of the city, you must prepare to go there
early in the morning, otherwise you will get stuck in the traffic on the road
to no where. If you do not wanted to climb up the steep steps, you can fight
with everyone else to get on the cable car. Once you are there, try to walk the
wall to the more excluded area, bring some lunch and have a picnic there. You
should not forget a pair of monocular. They are the place you really need it.
Bring plenty of water, they charge you a fortune at the top. Unless you plan on
coming back to visits again. This is one site really worth all the effort to
get there. In your case you just ride the cable car, and hope that you do not
get stuck mid way.
8. The Olympic village is best to visits at dust. It is worth it. You can
either ride the metro to get there, or you can rent a driver. Let be warn that
it is a huge place. These buildings are huge as they are beautiful. Take
pictures now before they got all rusty in a few years. The only problem I found
is that I have to see then in a distance in order to appreciate them that mean
a lot of walking around.
9. If Bonus for art lovers, if you can spare the time. Please visit 798
arts Zone, it will transform you into another world. I love it there, and I
never forget my visits.
10. After many tiring
days you are only scratching the surface of this great city.
11. The night market, on
Dong Hua Me street and Wangfujing Street. No self describe Sadism and
Masochism will miss the chance to visit this place to really see what you are
made of? Don’ let those little red lanterns fool you. In the evening on the
predestine street, they will sell you food from live scorpion on a skewer, to
the deep fried baby pigeons, skinned snakes, fat black cicadas, to frogs on
sticks. So far it is appetizing? This is not Perking Duck, which is of course
you have to sample as well. Make sure you made reservation from the hotel, the
good restaurant require 24 hours ahead. Or you will end up watch other eating,
and you may get some scraps if they decided to throw you a bone or two. No
kidding here.
12. It is time to decide
if you wanted to visits more temples and many more historical sites or pack up
to leave town, and heading to Xian.
13. If you only have one
day there, just ran straight from the airport or from the train to the tomb
site. It is a mad house there. This is like an amusement park, the government
knows, but not necessary let you get it all. It is still a working archaeological
site, therefore still a lot of digging going on. Have lunch in the park, take
some snap shot, it is time to go.
14. If time allows I
suggest you try to visit one of the best-preserved city walls. Protected the
city of Xian, it is very impressive, you can also climb to the top.
15. There are many more
sites; unless you have time you will never have my experience of the
never-ending dumpling dinner. They keep bring if you continue to eat them, even
if you do not want any more, they still won’t stop. If you think what they show
you at the entrance is their whole menu, wrong. That is your dinner, about 50
dishes of dumpling in all.
Then it
is time to head to Shanghai. Your final destination. No worry. The war was over
long time ago, and this is China, not Poland.
If you think you can
relax and had some excellent Chinese food in the infamous Shanghai. My dear
aliens, you are in the northern China, Not Hunan
or Sichuan. The typical good in the
region is sweet or salty. You will be fed with lots of fry tofu, chilli soup, bonny Chicken and fish. You can
have the entire oily pan-fried dumpling if your stomach can take it, so prepare
yourself accordingly.
1.
Besides all the stunning architectures
you saw in the promotion pictures. The famous nightlife, pampering messages,
beautiful and sexy girls, we can tell who the locals are. Expect humid stick
weather and foggy days, as well as the famous pollution. I suppose you will
encounter little rain. However some day you rather have them.
2.
If you saw the latest you tube, you know
the girls dress up here. They are into high fashion. So Please pack
accordingly. Otherwise I will tell my friends you guys are migrants’ farmers
from the states.
3.
Foreign goods are more expensive than in
NY or Paris. I will suggest saving the money, I can show you many other ways to
spend your dollars on me.
4.
Drinks are expensive, and they are not
real, only the bottle is. Can you even imagine having up to 10 drinks and still
standing, or on the other hand you may have three drinks and you are
unconscious. Of course there are real cocktails, the different is price, it is
80 vs. 30rmb. But then you are Americans, you are use to being ripe off, so
what is the difference.
5.
By the way, forget about being serve
real cheese, they are for the super rich American’s. We can’t afford it.
6.
So it is not all about food and drinks
and make merry. There are many sites to see, I suppose you will be waking up
late every morning, you do not have to worry about having the skinny Chinese
station conductors with the flag again, stuffing your ass into the metro before
the door close in the morning commune. LOL
7.
But that was only the first part, once
the metro starts moving, you will find hand all over every part of your body,
and that is not a message. If you are into cheap thrill, go for it.
8.
Forget about getting a Taxi during rush
hours. You do not know how to fight for one. There is no moral here. Polite is
not in the vocabulary. If you can beat and old lady or mother with child to
getting a cab, more power to you during rush hours, I am not kidding here.
9.
Talking about Message, it is the best,
pamper yourself to a VIP service, and you may even get lucky. It is x rated
therefore I have no comments, enter at your own risk.
10.
Foot message is another one you must
try. It is all fun and game although you may be screaming for pain in the
process; I swear on my bed blanket they feel good afterword. It is like walking
on air.
11.
There are a lot of sights to see, and
miles of walking in shanghai, and very friendly people, the city are walk able
as well as very livable.
12.
There are beautiful expat places
everywhere, I can show you where to find them, as long as you bring your deep
pocket, or credit card whatever you prefer.
13.
If it happens to fall on the right time,
I may even take you to some of my regular parties. You will be surprise how
popular I had became in this community.
14.
Boys beware, you may be swap away in a
minute by all the Chinese girls, even though you hang on to another girls,
won’t do too much good, they just murder her. That is how that works here. The
competition to marry an expat is fearless.
15.
Since I will be your local guide here. I
will not elaborate on where I am going to take you? I customize my tours for my
friends and families according to their likes. There is no blanket treatment.
Not to worry, I do not carry a loincloth on a stick, nor a bullhorn while parading
through town, but they stare at me anyway. Just ask my friends, they found it
is a very strange phenomena
This is just some of the pointers from my point of
view to share with you. Have fun. The correctness of this blog should no the
questioned, it is for entertainment base on some facts. If your brain is
working over time, I suggest you save your effort when the presidential
candidates came to town.
Chance encounter in three cities
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